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But people are becoming more open to admitting their sexual fluidity. Arousal is incredibly complex, Savin-Williams says, and can't be explained by a simple psychological theory.
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Also, not all of the self-identified straight men on r/jobuds may experience attraction the way B does. Granted, his study was tiny and more anecdotal than based on clinical trials. He doubts that the men he profiled are closeted or in denial about their attractions, and he emphasizes the spectrum of sexuality. "Somehow in their development, the penis became an object of great fascination arousal." "They're just very erotically turned on by penises," Savin-Williams explained in a phone call. He says the men who identify as "mostly straight" had relationships with strictly women, but in some cases, were aroused by seeing a penis. Savin-Williams had subjects watch porn of women masturbating and of men masturbating, measuring attraction based on the subjects' dilated pupils. "It's really like this sort of primal attraction just to male sexual organs."Ĭornell University psychology professor Ritch Savin-Williams unpacks the delicate nuances of sexuality in his 2017 book Mostly Straight: Sexual Fluidity Among Men, noting that the 40 young men he interviewed for the book didn't quite fit in the labels of straight/bisexual/gay, and were reluctant to confine themselves to one of the "Big Three" categories. "It stops at the base though," B said, while describing the parameters of his attraction to penises. Not every r/jobud experience is like B's - some users prefer to limit the mutual jerking off to video calls or live texting instead of in-person meetups. But while B recently posted in r/jobudsmeetup under the name u/abc_throwawayx, seeking another man to get off with, he doesn't see himself going as far as having sex with another guy. Neither encounter turned into anything longterm, and contact fizzled out after a few weeks. "Maybe I had a better connection with my partner or maybe I was just more turned on. "It felt more right this time around," B reflected on the experience. He notes that after they both finished, they ended up chatting for a bit afterwards - a much less awkward conclusion than his first r/jobuds meetup.
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B says the mutual masturbation lasted longer than his first time, and he was more comfortable with the notion of jerking off another man. This time, he made a post seeking a partner and "certainly achieved an erection much quicker" when he and another man met up. They fell out of touch, but B tried it again about a year later. That lasted for 10 or 12 minutes, we both orgasmed, I got dressed, said 'thanks' and left."ġ0 different but equally enjoyable kinds of masturbation sessions "I was surprised at first, but then I realized I was supposed to return the favor so I did. Then, the other man reached over and began stroking B. "We would take turns choosing clips of porn to watch, but we were very much doing our own thing for the first 30-ish minutes," B said. 'I was surprised at first, but then I realized I was supposed to return the favor so I did.' The two eventually slid off their pants and began masturbating side-by-side. While they settled down on the other man's couch after a few drinks, B grappled with his own sexuality, wondering if he was gay despite his relationships with women. B was so nervous, it took him "a little while" to be comfortable enough to even get an erection. After messaging each other for about a week, they met up at the other man's empty apartment. That's when B found r/jobuds, a NSFW subreddit for "mostly straight guys who happen to like jerking off with others."ī had his first sexual experience with another man after connecting on a spinoff subreddit, r/jobudsmeetup. "It wasn't till around the middle of college that I discovered there were communities online filled with people like me that had very similar attractions." To maintain anonymity, he asked to only be referred to as one of his initials. "For a very long time I just brushed it aside and ignored it," B told Mashable through a Reddit DM.
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May is National Masturbation Month, and we're celebrating with Feeling Yourself, a series exploring the finer points of self-pleasure.ī, a 23-year-old man who identifies as straight, really likes looking at dicks.Īlthough he isn't romantically or sexually attracted to cis men, B says his fascination to "strictly penises" began when he started watching porn in high school.